I couldn’t wait to sit down and write this blog! Who would have thought that World AIDS Day, Shrek and author JL King of the controversial book On the Down Low would have anything in common, but they do. Here’s how it went down children.
Last week I attended two World AIDS Day events that proved to be both informative and controversial. Let me start by saying that anyone privy to the data regarding HIV/AIDS in the District knows we are in the midst of a modern day plague. These devastating statistics suggest that we need to become active participants in activities, discussions and campaigns that seek to educate our people. Certainly the HIV/AIDS pandemic demands our immediate attention. Thus, hearing a presentation from a 10 year survivor of AIDS was both uplifting and offered hope that more of our community will engage in discussions about sex and changing behaviors that continue to cause spikes in the rate of the infection.
Most informative was a presentation at the University of Baltimore entitled, AIDS: Let’s Talk about It. This presentation was given by a very close family member who celebrated his 46th birthday that day while at the same time lamented the anniversary of being diagnosed with AIDS 10 years ago just prior to his 36th birthday. This brother mixed current statistic and prevention information with his own personal story of survival, citing his behavior and mental state as factors contributing to his diagnosis, substance abuse and eventual addiction. He was very honest about himself and how his behavior long before contracting HIV had an impact on how he handled the devastation of being diagnosed in 1997. He stressed the need for the use of condoms by men and women and the necessity for more persons to study human behavior as a means for assisting persons with mental health issues in making choices that don’t put them at risk. The statistics he provided were sobering and his story of survival incredible. This brother, unlike the many I saw die in the 90s and early days of this disease, ‘appeared’ perfectly healthy. His message, mental health is attached to physical health. His presence reminded me that people who looks physically healthy, are not always mental healthy and that new medications and increased research provides people who have been diagnosed with HIV with medicine that increase their longevity and prevent them from dying horrific deaths.
The second event I attended was at the University of Maryland. Their LGBT group along with Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. sponsored an event to recognize World AIDS Day which included a performance by the multi-talented out spoken word artist Buttafly Soul and Mr. ‘DL’, JL King author of “On the Down Low’ and “Coming Up from the Down Low”. Butta hit the stage in a T-shirt that read, ‘I’m on the Down Low’ on the front and ‘Shhh!’ on the back. His spoken word was as clever as his shirt. Butta (check him out at www.buttaflysoul.com) sang, moved and amused us with lyrical twists about passion and relationships. He had a unique way of blending social commentary with humor and pathos. My favorite poem, Shrek Got a Boo was a commentary on how an aesthetically challenged person had a lover. I am reminded that people base so much of who we are on our physical appearance, but we are more than the sum of our physical parts. And as grandma said, there’s a lid for every pot honey, so the lesson is, don’t hate on Shrek cause he got a Boo and you don’t. This selection can be found in Butta’s book, Rainbow Negro which is a must have.After Butta performed, it was time for “Mr. DL”,himself, JL King.
Now when my partner first told me we were going to go see the “Down Low Brother”, my first question was who? I mean I had heard of him and seen part of the Oprah show where he appeared, but I knew very little about him, other than what I heard when the book was first published. My next question was, why? Well my partner said she really only wanted to see Buttafly Soul and that ‘Mr.Down Low’ happened to be on the same program. So I agreed because I like to see Butta perform too. First, let me applaud the University of Maryland LGBT club and Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. for wanting to broaden the discussion of HIV/AIDS. We definitely need to continue to advance programming that generates discussion among the younger community.
Ok., that said, I took copious notes on “Mr. Down Low’s” speech as he proclaimed he would 'keep it real', and he did. So here we go! Oh yeah, in between his statements you’ll find my surprised, disgusted and frustrated inner voice musings.
Mr. DL: I have 10 male lovers and 10 female lovers. I really love sex.
My inner voice,‘Is this negro serious?”
Mr. DL: My people don’t want to learn about HIV/AIDS. They want to hear the dirt, it’s the drama they care about.
My inner voice: “Has this negro gone nuts?”
Mr. DL: People are turned on by me being Mr. DL, I get 500 emails a week with questions about sex.
My inner voice, “Do they ask you how often you get tested for STDs?”
Mr. DL: People want me to be the person they want me to be. They want to know how big is my dick?
My inner voice, “Did this negro just say what I thought he said?”
Mr. DL: Sometimes I wish I had never written this book.
My inner voice, “Negro please! You know you got paid.”
Mr. DL: People don’t care about HIV/AIDS, we need to stop having World AIDS Day, the statistics show its not helping.
My inner voice, “Negro, are you insane? Did your mamma drop you on your head?”
And finally, near the end of his speech after admonishing the need for World AIDS Day, for which he was paid to speak, he said, “Happy World AIDS Day”. Now everyone clap!”
My inner Voice,” I wonder if this Negro is mentally challenged?”
At some point his voice was like the teacher on Charlie Brown. I couldn’t hear anything, I disengaged. All in all, I found ‘Mr. Down Low” to be irresponsible and arrogant. I could care less about the size of his penis or what he does in the bedroom, but what I do care about is if this brother is using condoms and getting regular HIV tests. I think the audience was equally shocked by his commentary. I’m sure you’re wondering at this point if Mr. DL had any redeeming qualities. Well to be fair he did make some comments about how we need to teach young girls to realize that they don’t need a man and to learn to not accept any kind of treatment from a man. He should have added, especially a man like me! He also said we should encourage young men to wear condoms. When asked if he wore them, he hesitated and said ‘yes’. Hmmmmm.
Anyway, I couldn’t wait to meet this brother and bombard him with questions, so I waited until he was done signing books and approached him. I told him his discussion was curious and I wasn’t sure how to take his comments. I asked him was he trying to be ironic and stir up the crowd? Surprisingly, he was nothing like the persona he had projected just minutes ago. He said he was trying to take a different approach to raising awareness. Well, he did succeed in getting our attention. He basically said that he has changed, but people only want him to talk about his past deception. This makes total since. Once you step out as the “DL” brother, people only want to hear about your escapades. Do people really want to hear that you practice safe sex? As he said, black people want it raw. Is he giving the people what they want? While “Mr. DL” was seemingly a pompous ass, JL appeared to be sincere. I think he has learned how to push buttons so he does. Since he said he has a foundation and provides funding to community groups to do prevention awareness work, I asked JL about participating in a panel discussion targeting the African American community. He immediately accepted my invitation giving me his cell phone and all of his business info. To my surprise he emailed me the next day to say that he is very interested in collaborating. So, was it all a clever rouse? Perhaps, but you’ll have to wait along with me to see.
So, what did I learn this year during World AIDS week children? First, everything that looks good isn’t. Beauty is really only skin deep. Sexual behavior should be studied and discussions about sexuality and HIV/AIDS must continue. And finally, some people can appear to be assholes, but really aren’t.
Contrary to what “Mr. DL’ says, black people do care about AIDS. And there are many who would refute his claims. But if we don’t start forcing discussions and demand responsibility from people who profit from sexual exploits by sensationalizing sex, all the prevention messages in the world won’t save our community. Thank you “Mr. DL” for being a reminder that we have a lot of work to do!
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