Years ago, when I was a little girl, I remember my father preaching a sermon entitled, “Wake Up Black Church Before It’s Too Late”. I’m not sure what my father’s main topic was, but what I do know was that he was passionate about the black church both its service and disservice to black people. As I continue to read of the atrocities of many of our community churches as it relates to abuse and homophobia, I find myself uttering this same phrase. Its time for us to ‘wake up’ and hold our churches accountable for the messages of abuse and hate that emanate from the pulpit into the community.
As a product of a southern Baptist upbringing, I learned very early on of the hypocrisy of the church. The very same people of the church who would ‘fall out’, professed to have experienced the Holy Ghost and wept aloud profusely, were often the same people who led scandalous lives where church was the only place where they were godly. These same people, when called on their ‘sinful’ behavior, utter the biblical defense of ‘judge not, lest ye be judged’. Yet time and time again, collectives of church folk judge and condemn same gender loving persons while condoning their own bad behavior.
I was incensed and distressed by some of the comments of many church members who were responding to Juanita Bynum’s public beating. Bishop Thomas Weeks not only committed a crime against his wife, but both spiritual law and man’s law. Violence under any circumstance violates how we should treat each other on the most basic spiritual level. Setting aside that he heads a church, which in all actuality only emphasizes why he should be held accountable as a leader of the faith community, he also broke man’s law which we are all subject to as long as we walk this planet. Yet according to responses from some of his congregation and the religious community, we are asked not to judge him, but to pray for him and his wife’s reconciliation. First, we do not have to judge him because that infers that the occurrence required some sort of critical evaluation or deliberation, without which we could not draw a conclusion. His violent act required no evaluation because all of the evidence was apparent. We are not being critical if we point out the obvious. Nor are we being judgmental if we do not accept his Flip Wilson retort, “the devil made me do it”. We should ask both Sister Bynum and Brother Weeks to be responsible for their behavior by stepping out of the limelight for self-evaluation and contrition.
I also believe that as a community we should pray for the two of them within context of their situation as a couple and as Christians. I do not agree we should for their reconciliation. Whether they remain together will be based on whether they are able to cobble together an already broken relationship that intensely needs healing. Our prayers should be that they find that peace necessary for seeking atonement. Therefore, we should pray for peace of mind for the two of them. We should pray that they receive therapeutic and spiritual counseling available to couples who are in abusive relationships. We should pray that Bishop Weeks realizes that he needs time away from the pulpit for self-reflection and spiritual cleansing. We should pray that Sister Bynum has clarity about herself and her marriage and recovers from her emotional and spiritual pain. And we should pray for ourselves. We should pray that we hold all of the people who lead our community responsible for their behavior. Does it mean that we throw them out of the church? Absolutely not! We should never forget that as long as we are in the flesh we are subject to human error and we should embrace them. Those of us who understand domestic violence understand that if we remove the names of this couple and look at them as people in a relationship, this would be unhealthy for them spiritually, personally and not to mention professionally. Ask yourself would you advise your grandmother, mother, aunty, sister, daughter or niece to stay with her husband or boyfriend under these circumstances. Would you let your father, brother, uncle, nephew or son beat down his girlfriend or wife? The belief that only God can judge you is correct, but we can demand your accountability. This should also be applied to a belief system in the church that destroys families and fosters behavior that is not healthy or spiritual.
One such instance of behavior lacking of spirituality is a recent funeral that was cancelled at a mega church in Texas a day before the service because the deceased was gay. Cecil Howard Sinclair, a Naval Vet of the first Gulf War who was gay and partnered died as a result of an infection prior to heart surgery. (See http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/11/AR2007081100281.html) According to his sister, the church was aware of his same gender loving behavior, however, it was claimed that during a video being made of her brother it showed pictures of him sharing an intimate kiss with his partner. While his sister denies this to be true, this was the bases for the minister canceling the funeral. The Pastor of the church stated, "We did decline to host the service- not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle". Aside from the fact that a family, in their grief, had to alter the arrangements the day before their loved ones funeral was outrageous, this statement is both hypocritical and duplicitous. Where is the respect for this man in death and his family? What principle in the spiritual realm allows us to discriminate rather than honor another? If you are denying a person because of a belief system that hurts rather than uplifts, is this spiritual? I’m not saying this Pastor hated Brother Cecil, but he didn’t love him enough as we are all expected to base on divine law. If he loved his neighbor as he loved himself wasn’t Brother Cecil deserving of transition rites as he would have offered to any other? I ask what ‘principle’ gives any man the right to deny another based on evidence that he loved someone simply because one can not possibly fathom this kind of love? Am I judging the Pastor, no absolutely not, I’m simply holding accountable to love.
The bottom line is we can debate the issues of abuse and homophobia until the end of the world, but as the debate rages on, women will continue to be victims of spousal abuse and brothers and sisters will continue to be victims in the name of God unless the black church wakes up. We as a people need to hold each other accountable for our behavior. People who choose to lead are going to be scrutinized even more. Ministers of mega churches are still human and we cannot allow them to excuse their behaviors because of their place of prominence in the church. A leader should hold him or herself accountable for the example he/she sets for their congregation. We shouldn’t have to yank a member of the clergy out of the pulpit when they commit egregious acts, they should remove themselves. However, most have become so arrogant and self-important that they believe their positions of authority in the church are more important than spirituality and morality.
Black churches, we as a community need to put our leaders on official notice, we will not condone behaviors that do not represent love. We will not accept a Flip Wilson euphemism as an excuse. We will not tolerate hate. The backs that you stand on to deliver your messages of hate are tired. We can no longer support you as you profit from sermons that divide our communities and churches. We hold you accountable to preach a doctrine of love. A scripture that is very pertinent to the sad situation of Brother Cecil was recommended to me by my Spiritual Mother. This scripture relates to the act of love that Jesus offered prior to his death on the cross, wherein he was crucified between two robbers, one asked him to remember him when he came into his kingdom, Jesus, replied this day you will be with me in paradise (Luke 23:42, 43). Everyone has equal access to the kingdom and to paradise. In the words of my father, Wake up black church before it’s too late!
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