A Letter to My Sisters

Dear Sisters,

Something has weighed very heavy on my heart since I became a member of our illustrious sorority over 20 years ago. Although I have never shared this with you,
after I pledged, two sisters pulled me aside and had a 'talk' with me. Their 'talk' involved asking me if I wanted a man and this was followed by 'cause ------ has enough dykes in our sorority'. I was astonished that my new 'sisters' would say those words to me, but I didn't address them because I was caught completely off guard, I respected their opinions and because the core values that I learned for being a member of my sorority has always allowed me to embrace ALL of my sisters. I'm not saying their words did not hurt; but I was new to our organization and eager to focus on the wonderful contributions our organization makes to communities both nationally and internationally.

Over the years, I have been supported in many of my personal and philanthropic endeavors by so many sisters that I can't begin to even list the number of
opportunities offered to me as a result of my membership. When I needed a babysitter, tuition for classes and assistance in a variety of areas in my personal and professional life, sisters have always lifted me up. When I founded Sisters Rising Female Education Enlightenment and Empowerment Organization, sisters stepped up to help me run that program for 4 years. I am proud to say that not once since 21 years ago did anyone in our sorority question my sexuality. The sisters really held me down and I couldn't be more grateful.

Before I go any further, let me say that I am gay.

And I live openly in Washington, DC. I am unapologetically me and I felt it necessary to tell you this because the 'closet' is a very dangerous place for the people of the gay community. I want my sisters to know that I am leading a very happy and comfortable life with my partner of 3 years who is also a Soror and writer like me. Special thanks to the sisters who knew this and continued to love and support me...and that includes my sister-in-law Yvette, a Soror, who always accepted and loved me...thanks Yvette.

As I have become older, I do see what was said to me as problematic. I remember it like it happened yesterday instead of 21 years ago. I withdrew from you and did not participate as actively because I was afraid you would discover or question me about my 'secret'. I recently began to meet women who do not even claim our sorority because they feel like outsiders. Indeed, if you live in the closet, you remove all of the exciting things about your life that may include someone you love, simply because you fear what others will think. You may refer to the person you love as your ‘friend’, ‘roommate’ or ‘housemate’. You may even refer to the woman you love as a man so as not to invite criticism. But recently, I had a realization that I would like to share with you. I am too old not to live my truth. Silence about who I am will not stop the gossip, hatred or bigotry that I and many other gay people are exposed to every day. I felt I should speak my truth. Proclaim it even because it would provide a sense of freedom and may encourage some of my sisters to do the same and free their spirit!

I am a black woman, a mother, a teacher, a writer, a poet, a minister, a friend, an activist, an advocate, a sister, a daughter and I am a same gender loving individual. I am also a member of a wonderful organization that is dedicated to community service! I am proud of whom I have become and my sorority is where I learned to constantly lift up young women!

Last year I began my ‘out’ life when I chose to work for the Metro DC chapter of the national non-profit organization, Parents Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays in Washington, DC. For the past year, I have served as Safe Schools Coordinator working with gay youth in the Metro DC area. I am now this organization’s Program Outreach Coordinator. I made the decision to join Metro DC PFLAG so that I could advocate for youth and adults who suffer harassment and struggle with their 'secret' as a result of their same gender loving behaviors. I struggled with whether to share this information because I know once I confirmed to all of you, what I'm sure many have assumed, that it would offend some of your sensibilities and some of you would distance yourselves from me because of your religious beliefs. Indeed, that is why I am not in contact with you as often because I have struggled with how to maintain my relationships with all of you, but share little about my life other than information about my son. But if I am to do the work I need to do in the African American community, I had to approach this with a sense of strength and honesty about who I am. I have many friends who are members who no longer even work for our sorority because they feel they are not welcomed at the table with the sisters. This is unfortunate because the sisters who accepted them and pledged them into the sorority believed them to be an asset to our organization.

As I work with African American gay youth, I realize that we are in the midst of a real struggle in our community. Young people are being put out of their homes, prostituting and engaging in risky behaviors at an alarming rate. HIV/AIDS statistics are decreasing in every community except our own. My organization's mission is not part of this so-called 'gay' agenda; we implore people to stay close to their families and not to ostracize people you love because of who they love. We need each other sisters. We do not promote agreement with our lifestyle, but acceptance and loving affirmation. On that note, I am doing program outreach in African American communities in the Metro DC area to help educate our people that gay people need their families, communities and churches to love them. I am also resurrecting Metro DC PFLAG’s African American support group For Those We Love.

That said, I want you to know that I wanted to start my crusade with 'outing' myself officially to my sisters. As I pound pavements in DC neighborhoods I'm making a personal appeal to you to support the people who you love who may be gay. And if you live in the DC Metro area and you have an understanding church, organization or school that would like me to visit and provide parent/youth information please let me know. I will even send you information if you live in other states. I offer myself as a resource to you. If someone you know and love needs information, I will gladly send it to you. If you are a Soror struggling with who you are, I want to speak to you. If you are a Soror who needs better a better understanding, I really want to speak to you. If you happen upon this article and you belong to another black sorority or fraternity, I am also there for you. The African American community needs all of its brothers and sisters to pull together to restore our families. Gay people have always been in our families, communities and in our churches. Continuing to hide who we are is dangerous to the psyche and to our relationships with the people we love most.

Please feel free to forward this to as many people who are Greek that you know. I am happy to be a guest speaker at your churches, schools and organizations. I am also writing a series of articles called, "Out to God" and would love to share them with you. Please contact me at prcorbett@gmail.com if you would like more information about For Those We Love, to be added to my e-list, receive my blog "Out Black Voices" at www.outblackvoices.blogspot.com or contribute an article. All feedback is welcome.

I love all of you!

Sincerely,
Patricia R. Corbett
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
Program outreach Coordinator, Metro DC PFLAG
www.pflagdc.org